Friday, February 10, 2012

'Bravo TV' Cleanse Goes Awry?

Atlanta and Beverly Hills = Forever!
OC and Miami = [I Hope] Never!


"I promise.  After the Atlanta season is over, you will not have to hear screaming bitches on our television until New York and New Jersey."--Me

"How long will that be...one fucking week?  I need some peace after work."--Boo

"PLEASE!  You sometimes watch this crap. too. You know damn well you get sucked in.  And, NO.  It will be months.  Jersey will come in the spring. Overlapping with New York in the summer."--Me

"P...it is almost Spring."--Boo

"No....like.....ummmmm.....latish-Spring.  Mmmm.....I mean...late, LATE Spring."--Me

"Then what is this shit coming on right now?"--Boo

"Oh....that's Orange County.  That is the first and the worst.  Look at these hoes.  I can't tell which is which.  Their houses or their faces.  I have never even watched it, and don't want to start now.  Well...maybe one or two episodes when I was too hungover to locate the remote.   But...have no fear.....my 'Housewives Cleanse' is about to start."--Me


I have been an avid Bravo viewer and Bravolebrity quoter since far before it was cool or cliché.  (Even before the Being Bobby Brown days.  RIP.)  I hate that one network takes all of my pathetic excuse for an attention span, but....OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.......it feels so fucking good.

Some like their blow.  I like my Linnethia "NeNe" Leakes served with a side of Lisa and Giggy VanderpumpEveryone likes their dealer.  Mine just happens to be Andy Cohen.














Thursday was a tough day.  We had just gone to watch Duke beat us at home by one point.  One lousy point.  And the result of a buzzer shot.  Having traveled to Chapel Hill, I refused to not have a good time.  Even though the wind was definitely taken out of my sails after an otherwise fantastic game.  We'll just say it was definitely a late night that ended with chirping birds.  Pretty aggressive for a Wednesday!

 Boo and I definitely did not work yesterday.  It was an all-day Bravo-thon, and travel plans home were canceled more quickly than @BravoAndy canceled Miami Social.
RIP, Miami Social!
Boo caught up on the missed ATLs and BH reunions...and I got to re-watch them for the....hmmmm......tenth time?  In the end, I could not find the damn remote to turn off a rerun of the OC season premiere.  Boo couldn't find it either.  DAMNIT!





I refuse to allow that night to get me hooked.  I am already crazy enough.  Adding a 5th Housewives installment to my repertoire would definitely make me a junkie.   





I watch everything..  I mean....EVERYTHING Bravo airs.  Except The Real Housewives of Orange County and The Real Housewives of Miami.  Those time slots are when I try to find my zen.


~~~

Dear Andy'n'Co,

Please.  Help!  Y'all cancelled The Real Housewives of DC... yet kept the crappy Miami franchise??  Apparently, I am the only one who finds national security breaches entertaining enough for primetime television.  You guys didn't even give Miami Social a second glance.  And...instead of giving me a sure-to-be-amazing Dallas Housewives series, you dumped the shittastic Most Eligible Dallas in my face.  Just think how hysterical all those big, blonde white girl problems would have been!

I am your most loyal viewer ever.  It is just wrong of you to air these marathons of the few shows I do not watch.

You know I am to Bravo what Bobby'n'Whitney are to a hot waffle iron.


Please grant me a reprieve 'til Jersey

Xx P

~~~



Am I the only one who thinks that OC and Miami are subpar??







[images via: (1) source; (2) source; (3) source; (4) source; (5) source; (6) source; (7) source;

1 comment:

  1. HAhaha I haven't had a birds chirping night in a loooonnnggg time!

    ReplyDelete