PETITION: Home for the Holidays Edition....'Madhouse' to DVD Immediately

I want it all the time.  The dumb '80s-style opening credits. The longing for seeing Kirstie Alley when she was hot for more than 3 weeks.  But I never long for Madhouse more than I do at the holidays.

Everyone is crowded under one roof.  It certainly worked when you were three years old.  It kind of worked during adolescence.  But after you have left the roost and everyone comes home, it is just too damn much.  Everyone getting ready at once makes showering about as comfortable as "spa day" at Guantanamo Bay.  Freeze or scald, motherfuckers?  Take your pick!

There are far too many "Holidays on Ice"-wannabe odes to Chrimmustime.  It really doesn't require all that posing-to-be-Sedaris effort.  All I need is a clip from 1990's Madhouse to express how I feel, but you can't even find a link to the obligatory "jiggle the handle" line from the Kirstie Alley/John Larroquette-helmed flick.  Therefore, a plead for its DVD release is necessary so I can create my own clips. It is Dennis Miller's feature film debut, after all. 

As a young 'chile, I burned-up the local video store copy of Madhouse...literally.  There were so many late fees for that thing and Return to Oz that I am sure we bought each of them at least 15 times over.  And now you cannot even find it.  Anywhere.  Not even a scuzzed-up DVD on Amazon. And I am the best at the "find-out-of-print-shit" game.

I found the little-seen-by-everyone-but-me '80s sequel to the 1939 megahit The Wizard of Oz, Return to Oz.....and it stars Fairuza Balk in the Judy Garland role of Dorothy.  Ummm.....yeah.  Not as good now as it was at 5 years old.  But, still, I found that 'ol thing.  Where the fuck is Madhouse?  I don't even see it on a random Comedy Central hangover Sunday. 

Until I get my hands on a copy of the critically-derided-but loved-by-me classic, I can't truly express my key points about the holidays with the emphatic exclamation I find necessary.

The cat that gets into the cocaine is the perfect movie moment needed to depict my parents' dog.   The damn thing eats a brick of cocaine, and runs in speedy circles until its heart gives out. 

The only [little-seen and fuzzy] YouTube clip in existence is merely a portion of the scene.  Uggggh!

Hurry up, MGM.  Bring Madhouse to DVD.  I'd blow you for it.

[images via: (1 and 3) moviegoods.com; (2) Philips Wood/WrittenWithoutAdderall©]

Infomercial Love: A Brief Tribute (...plus my new favorite find!)

I love late-night infomercials.  I can recite many of them by heart at this point.  And I started very early.  How many times did I watch Suzanne Somers "squeeze, SQUEEEEEEEZE!" her way to shapely hips and thighs when I was a wee little tot?  In the '90s, Dallas' Victoria Principal had me thinking I needed to worry about wrinkles.  And I was about 8 years old.  She may be the shittiest television actress I've ever watched (aside from Ashlee Simpson on the CW's short-lived 2009 Melrose reboot), but she makes one helluva convincing pitchwoman. 

Pam kills crow's feet!

Don't even get me started on the Proactiv infomercials.  I have seen all of them.  Even the ones before there were celebrity endorsers of the stuff that seemed to quasi-legitimize it.  I can't just recite Fatty's lines...or Bieber's....Katy Perry's....Avril's.....Vanessa Williams'...Julianne Hough's.....or Jennifer Love Lame's.  I can even recite the trainwreck ones.

                                                         

                                     

     








Remember when Britney Spears endorsed the stuff for a hot second?  During her "Cheeotos-dipped-in-Caramel-Frappucino-while-holding-a-Virginia-Slim-in-the-other-hand" phase.  She was always barefooted.  And always seemed to be nursing a baby in a bar.

...Then Brit-Brit really hit rock-bottom with a trip to the psych ward.  Well, Guthy-Renker and Proactiv Solution didn't really stick around for that shit.  Instead, they signed....uhhhh.....Lindsay Lohan?  Yeah.  Great choice.  #Winning!  Remember that?  I do.  I even remember her lines.  She lasted a hot second, as well.  They didn't even wait for her teeth to rot.  Fatty...she still shows up some.  Regardless of how hot of a mess Fatty may be at any given time, she has always had some good skin.  Thank you, Guthy-Renker....and Papa Joe!

"I'm a great role model." -Lindsay Dee Lohan (elegant middle name, y'all!)

The only infomercials I don't like are fitness ones.  All it took was me buying one stupid ab roller thing to realize home fitness equipment just doesn't work.  Even if it does technically "work," it does not work for me.  3/4 of the battle of fitness for me is getting out of the house.  I imagine many others face this issue.  Nearly everyone I know with a full gym in their house is a fucking fatass.  So...unless Tony Little's "Gazelle" is at the YMCA, I suggest NOT buying it. 

This brings us to my latest infomercial find: 'Yonanas.'  It is AMAZING!

For starters, I received Yonanas as one of my Xmas gifts from Boo.  I left a Santa-style note of potential gifts not-so-discretely placed atop my dresser.  It worked.  And I hope it does in the future, as well. 

I used Yonanas for the first time this morning.  It is a fantastic invention! Basically, you blend over-ripe bananas with berries or any assortment of frozen fruits....even chocolate.  My first foray into it this morning was a bowl of banana and mixed berries.  Followed by a bowl of bananas and blueberries.  It seems equally delicious as a breakfast or a dessert for later in the day. 

Naturally, I will eat whatever is in front of my face--whether it come from the bowels of the junk food industry or the finest of the fine.  However, when it comes to cooking at home, I only prepare the cleanest dishes.  'Yonanas' fits this standard.  It uses overripe bananas to create the texture and creaminess of frozen yogurt.  As with preparing banana bread..the more overripe the banana, the sweeter the treat.

Even though I will eat a whole pizza when it is in front of my face, I am technically allergic to dairy products.  I hope this will help provide delicious substitutions.  Maybe I will no longer feel the need to sneak off and get milkshakes that clog my sinuses and make me impossible to live with??

I can see how saying the name 'Yonanas' could get old, but I hope that the sweet treats never do!

The inventor/commercial actress may be annoying as fuck, but the product is fantastic!  Click here to buy one now!



[images via: (1) amazon.com; (2) ew.com; (3) blackdresstraveler.com; (4) fanpop.com; (5) teen.com; (6) holistichealthtools.com; (7) phototree.com; (8) proactiv.com.hk; (9) stereogum.com; (10) lindsay-lohan.net; (11) goodhousekeeping.com]

Clip of the Day: 'Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!'.....from Gary Coleman?

 Happy Chrimmus, Err'body!

How JT escaped the noose after this one is beyond me.

Y'all be good now, ya' hear?



[images via: (1) blackwebportal.com; (2) whatisyourintelligence.blogspot.com]

'Domestic Divo': Brightening-Up for Chrimmus Guests!

'Tis the season!   And some relatives are bound to show up.  Get ready for 'em, and make them feel tasteless at the same time!

 

I have grown sick of Christmastime being all about red and green.  Everyone's wreath seems to be a plain fraser fir with with a pre-tied red bow from some dime store.  Ewwww.  Some of the most fantastic folks still don't have any adventure with color.  Expand yo' horizons!

For Christmas this year, I wanted to take advantage of my apartment living room's floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks a very industrial area.  And I LOVE the results!

I began with a very sturdy fraser fir wreath found at the farmer's market.  With a white hook drilled into the ceiling, I suspended the wreath just in front of the large window with clear fishing line above my favorite driftwood console table.  There is uplighting behind the table that looks amazing from outside.  It's a perfect play on outdoor lighting for a condominium and apartment setting!

A wreath suspended above such a piece with lighting already in place will hopefully add just the right amount of drama for the holidays.  Visual drama is far more appealing than the family drama that the holidays usually bring.  Champagne wishes and Xanax dreams, oh festive folk!

What to do next?  Hmmmm....... I forgot to buy ribbon, so... white poinsettias and candles?

Ummm.... last I checked, this is a drama-filled home.  All kinds of drama.  Anything akin to an altar at my house would not only be tacky.  It would be sacrilegious.  Hypocritical.  Just wrong.  Scratch this hot mess.  I am a Southerner by birth, so bring me the magnolia IMMEDIATELY!

Better.  Not there yet, though.  I must remember to find massive amounts of amazing ribbon tomorrow!









Rise and shine, Phil!  Go getcha' some glitz!  I am feeling...hmmm......pink and gold!

I feel like I am on the right track with this.  I played with a heaping amount of gold and pink ribbon.  Not very masculine, but exquisite to look at.  Ummm....remind me to learn how to skin a deer.  My brothers do nasty things like that so well.  Me....not so much.

Something is missing, however.  I really want to weave some gold ribbon through that wreath to help tie it all together, but I really don't want my apartment to look like Paris' Moulin Rouge teleported to America and shat all over The Birdcage.  This is not South Florida, my name is not Nathan Lane, and I cannot find my "Pirin" tablets!

I figured I would go with a more subtle gold ribbon to weave through the wreath. 

           PERFECT!  I am loving this!

I hung an oversized boxwood wreath at my front door with added magnolia accents.  I weaved a little faint green and red ribbon in there.  Hey, Baby Jesus wasn't born at a disco.  I do like to have some sense of tradition.  Let me remind those of you who do not know.  Boxwood wreaths dry VERY quickly.  You probably want to avoid use of any boxwood clippings as greenery...unless it is gettting really close to the occasion for which you are decorating.

Scattering traditional red, green and gold ornaments artfully around the house adds instant flair without delving too far into tacky territory.

~~~

Happy Holidays, everyone!.. 

Please remember to have your bar fully stocked.  And remember to always drink scotch.  Few others go for it first, so you know you'll always have some for yourself!

Chrismukkah/Kwanzaa-lurrvin' to you all!

Word.

P

~~~

[all images via me: Written Without Adderall©/Philips Wood, 2011]

The PERFECT Last-Minute Gift!

Everyone loves a great coffee table book, and I have found the most fantastic one!

My cousin Sara Ruffin Costello's most recent column in The Wall Street Journal mentions Andy Warhol's 1988 Party Book as inspiration.  Sara claims she couldn't tear herself away from it, and now neither can I!

Party Book includes fantastically quirky interviews with cultural icons about how they entertain.  The book is long out of print, but Amazon has a few copies left. There is no shortage of cultural significance with this work, either.  Mr. Warhol had just completed his work on Party Book shortly before his death in February of 1987. 

It's not too late to order for Christmas with Amazon's overnight delivery available.  Get one of the last copies there are in existence ASAP!  Great for you...or someone you love to have a great time with!



[image of my coffee table via me: Written Without Adderall©/Philips Wood, 2011]

Kathy Griffin Does a SPOT-ON Nancy Grace!

I like Kathy Griffin...a lot.  And have since long before it was fashionable.

I always watch her stand-up specials...and My Life on the D-List.  However, I would not classify myself as a Kathy Griffin worshiper.  I do not think her impersonations are always spot-on-Eddie-Murphy-style or anything.  The tides are turning, though.  This is pretty damn good!

Check out Kathy's Nancy Grace on the premiere of her "Tired Hooker" stand-up special on Bravo.

[video via my YouTube channel / Written Without Adderall©]

S.T.O.P. Inviting Me To Your Horrendous Sweater Parties!

...and it is the people that throw these parties that are embarrassing.  Much more so than the sweaters.

One thing I was concerned about prior to starting a blog was the obvious conflict on the horizon.  I used to have this desire to be liked...but at the same time be viewed as blunt and honest.  Those personality traits are actually kind of mutually exclusive, so you have to pick and choose.  I choose to speak my mind.

It has been oddly fun to toss a zesty little pinch of disapproval into my days.  In other words, I now find it extremely fun to not really give a shit what people think. It separates the wheat from the chafe in life.  And I would rather have a few less friends if it means that I not have to cough up an extra 20-25 bucks to give someone a Christmas present for inviting me to YET ANOTHER "Tacky Christmas Sweater Party." The economy sucks anyways, and lame folk do not deserve to be rewarded for their lameness and lack of originality.

Typically, time really seems to fly.  But not when it comes to these dumb sweater parties.  It seems like a fucking century ago when I went to my first Christmas sweater party.  It was 2003 or 2004, and Britney Spears' "Toxic" was burning up the airwaves.  I remember this very specifically because it blared loudly from my first iPod that was the size of a cinder block as I pulled over my first-ever "Mom Sweater" for such a festivity.  I thought it was such an amazingly fun and novel idea for everyone to raid their mom's (or, in my case, friends'-moms-who-have-horrendous-taste's) closets.  My mom wouldn't ever buy shit like that.  Not even in 1986 when she had a kinky l'il perm like everyone else.  I'm lucky like that.

At that formative fateful event, I remember thinking how fun it was to get wasted and make fun of everyone in their sweaters embroidered with nasty-ass cats rolling balls of yarn under Christmas trees, etc...  Somehow, the trend caught on....and it caught on faster than the swine flu did in '09.

The moment I opened my second E-vite to one of those things, I knew it was all over.  All over in terms of coolness.  And all over the map like Herpes Simplex I on a reported 80% of adult human's lips.  Begrudgingly, I showed up for the free booze.  Hot girls ruining my mental image by dressing up like granny.  Big, masculine dudes / football team walk-on types wielding home-baked Christmas cookies in their mom's sweaters.  It was all so....UNSEXY.  And I never went to one of those hideous parties again.

Every single year the Evites, Paperless Posts and Facebook messages pour in offering up the elite opportunity of sporting yet another one of those shitty frocks.  Some have even wasted trees on that bid'ness by going to the effort of actually PAYING for paper invites. (I swear I once received one on heavy Crane's stock.)  So. Embarrassing.

~~~

Dear "Tacky/Mom Sweater Party" Throwers:

I thought the folks who threw them in 2003 were so cool.  Fortunately, those folks have since gone on to just have a plain'ol fuckin' party.  This is not intended for them. 

Like the Adele song "Rolling in the Deep" proved in 2K11 (and every Beyonce/Destiny's Child single other than "Crazy in Love" before it that is nothing other than an annoying chorus set on 'repeat') proved, there IS such thing as too much of a good thing.  Actually, at this point, it is just too much of an AWFUL thing.

Your parties are far worse than the sweaters you are intending to make fun of.  Just go stare in the mirror and make fun of yourself.

My personal theory is that "Tacky Sweater Party" people and cat people are the EXACT same people.  The people who originally wore those sweaters were also cat people, so what is the difference between the two?  Nothing.  Nothing at all. 

Go away.  I am glad you no longer like me.

Xx and much Holiday lurrve,
P

PS:  I know y'all are also the same people who use the word "classy" a lot.  Nails on a muthafuckin' chalk board!

 ~~~

[images via: (1) sweaterpop.com; (2) hellohauteness.com.  SERIOUSLY?!)

BRENDA WALSH FINALLY GOES TO COLLEGE!!

So....Minnesota wasn't good enough for you.  Then, the fictional "CU" wasn't enough to keep you in their drama department because you were just too good for it..  But....internet college?  That's not beneath you at all?

Ummmmm......there is not much to say about this new ad campaign that isn't covered in the ad itself.  If you can manage to laugh quietly enough to still pay attention.

Dear Shannen,

Was pissing off Aaron Spelling and leaving Beverly Hills, 90210 very early because you thought you were going to become a huge film star from fucking Mallrats REALLY worth it?  Tell me that thing about Mischa Barton again? .....or Shelley Long? .....or....well...anyone other than George Clooney?!

Then, you pissed off Aaron Spelling AGAIN when he gave you a second chance with that Charmed show years later.  Now, you are going to college on the internet.  Is that because you didn't last longer than the first week on Dancing with the Stars a couple of years ago? 

Cool.

The Television Titan died in 2006, so unless a miracle happens for you....there are probably not going to be any third chances.  Until you at least bridge that field goal between your two front teeth with some veneers.

Love ya'.....gurrrl.

Xx P

PS:  I LOVE your look in the "degree in technology" portion of your new ad.  Fierce...and convincing!



[image via: (1) saraheisenberg.com; (2) cosmeticdentistryguide.co.uk]

OOPS!.....She's Doing It Again!

Congratulations, Ms. Britney Jean Spears Alexander Federline [soon-to-be] Trawick!!

Britney Spears and her beau / former manager Jason Trawick have confirmed that they are indeed engaged!  Trawick proposed during a romantic meal to celebrate his 40th birthday.  

According to multiple sources, Trawick proved a gentleman by first asking Papa/Conservator Jamie Spears for his permission to propose to Spears, 30.  

BritBrit:  I hope he makes you THIS happy......and keeps you going to the gym!  When you are on the wagon, so am I!

Xx and Lotsa' lurrve,

P

[images via: (1) zone-britney.blogspot.com; (2) mtv.com; (3) usmagazine.com; (4) thepowerofgodney.blogspot.com]

GOOP GETS AN iPHONE APP!

I was vurry, vurry excited to receive notification that Gwyneth developed an iPhone app for her mega-successful weekly lifestyle newsletter! Clearly, I paid the $3.99 to purchase mine!

I thought everyone would be excited.  Ummmm......I was wrong!  Calling it such names as "Gwyneth Paltrow's iPhone App for the 1 Percent,"  MSNBC and gossip sites like Gawker were quick to jump on the "Shame on you, Gwyneth...You pretentious limousine liberal" bandwagon.

Personally, I believe everyone should check it out.  Goop finds unique, unheralded things and brings them to the masses.  Like a trendier Zagat Survey.  Just because these are tough economic times for the majority of people does not mean that everyone is supposed to walk around all depressed like Oliver Twist asking for some more porridge. 

The Goop iPhone app is simply a location-based app to help you find cool shit.  What's so wrong with that?  Isn't the American dream to make money doing what you want to do as long as it is legal?  America is also about choice.  So....if you think a lifestyle iPhone app is wrong, don't buy it!  I want a soap box here!  Yeah.  America is about CHOICE.  If you think schmaschmortion (I hate to say "abortion"..I am currently eating an omelette) is wrong, don't have one.  If you don't like the idea of gay marriage, don't marry a gay person.  Mind yo' own fucking bid'ness!  Do your own thing!  Don't tell other people they can't buy the Goop iPhone app because it shows folks where to get a vegan cupcake!

Currently serving New York City, Ms. Paltrow's Goop iPhone app will soon branch out to other cities.  Homegirl's got some pavement to pound.  And I am SURE she is doing it all by herself.  I mean, she is so fat that she insists on checking out every plate of vegan mock Spaghetti Bolognese across Amurrika!



[images via: (1) MSNBC; (2) Gawker; (3) hq-celebrity.com]

SELLING CHEZ SPELLING!

Come on in, y'all!

I have died and gone to real estate heaven!

Tonight, Candy Spelling packs up the Holmby Hyatt.....and we get to watch it all on HGTV at 9/8 central for the television special Selling Spelling Manor.  Y'all know how I lurrve all things Spelling.  Especially things that involve their nauseatingly-gilded abode. How is THIS for a premise?:

"Candy Spelling had just 30 days to move out after closing the sale on Spelling Manor, the 56,500-square-foot family home where she and television producer, the late Aaron Spelling, entertained presidents, royalty and Hollywood legends. Join us as Candy gives an exclusive tour of the mansion's more than 15 specialty areas, including a bowling alley; a billiard room; an arcade; a collector's gallery with more than 700 dolls; a projection room with a large-scale screen and full surround sound; a china room; a silver room with place settings for more than 50; a gift room with accompanying custom-designed gift-wrapping room; a design studio to capture photos of jewelry and other personal items for online auctions; and a collection fine-art originals, including one of the famous Dogs Playing Poker paintings." -HGTV

Even during the dump of our economic slump, Candy'n'Aaron's digs (that just happen to be the largest single-family home in America) went on the market as the country's most expensive real estate listing.  With a jaw-dropping price tag of $150 million, the pool of potential purchasers was.....ummmmm......I'd say.....LIMITED!  Where's a czar looking for a roof over his head?......A sheik?......Maybe Jesus?

What showed up is maybe the most anger-inducing, spolied-ass hussy I've ever even heard of.  Petra Ecclestone.  "Who the fuck is that?" you may ask.  Well....let's just say this bitch showed up on Candy Spelling's doorstep with a personal check for $85,000,000 (mortgage who? mortgage what?!), told her she had a month to vacate, and then clicked off atop her shimmering heels.  (I assume these pumps were NOT Jessicas!)   And...GET THIS!  The bitch is only 22 years old.  I hate her.  Yes.  I FUCKING hate her.  At nearly two years with no proper offers, Mz. Candy seemed eager to comply.  Ummmm......I'd say, "Hey...YOU.  Just WHO are you, and where is the other 65 mil?"

...yes, you did hear Ms. Ecclestone say that she "got a good deal."  Poor I am not, but poor I feel when I listen to this bitch talk.  I thought eating beautiful meals every day with good wine was living well.  Clearly, this ho doesn't eat.....but she pays cash for the Spelling manse.  I know I've said it far too many times already, but I have to say it again.  Bitch. There really is no better word.  Unless it is enhanced by the perfect adjective.  Okay.  Anorexic bitch.  I bet she smells like spray tan juice, cigarette butts, and hairspray anyways....with a faint low note of cocaine.  So....at least she SMELLS poor.  Or at least like LA trash.  (Poor or not, all LA trash smell like trailer and look like they belong on Toddlers & Tiaras.)

This is Petra Ecclestone flanked by her parents.. BillionaireBernie and her mom,  Slavica.  Based on these pics, I wonder if Slavica married for money?!  I am guessing Bernie is 5'2'' with a teenie beanie weanie for a peenie. 

I need to get back on the topic of Candy&Co., so I'll rattle the rest on the Ecclestones in this paragraph.  Petra is a British-Croatian brat. Her father helms the Formula One racing empire.  Her mom was a Croatian model.  Petra Ecclestone isn't just your typical member of the "Lucky Sperm's Club."  She is obviously hell-bent on making everyone feel like a peasant.  Just Google her.  She has a $91 million home in Chelsea, London for her 5 dogs.  For serious.  Your daddy may have bought you a car.....but her daddy bought her the Aaron Spelling mansion.  Just so she could have an American home.  She has plenty of others.  One last time:  BITCH. 

Back to the Spellings.  They are the ones I don't hate.  I have honored them several times in my clearly-highbrow musings.  And I will continue to do so.  We have to always remember Papa Aaron made it all possible.  Please check out my initial Aaron Spelling Salute here at Written Without Adderall...entitled "Catfights & Caviar."  He's such a boo.

I personally cannot wait to see how Candy Spelling will manage to box up her 123-room pile of bricks.  Will Tori show up to help?  (Hopefully, she has had these boobs worked on since her lazy-ass huss'bent Dean tweeted this picture!)  Will that creepy little midget from Papa Aaron's Fantasy Island show up to direct the movers?

!

Watch the premiere of Selling Spelling Manor tonight!!  HGTV.  9/8 Central.  



Editor's note:  UGGGGH, this photo makes me mad!  That house was supposed to be Tori's!

[images via: (1) reuters.com; (2) people.com; (3) la.guestofaguest.com; (4) timvp.com; (5) radaronline.com]

Clusterfuck Alert!: The Apple Store opens at Grand Central Station

Apple employees get the brand-new Grand Central location ready for the same fucking idiots who shop Black Friday.

The Wall Street Journal reports that 2,500 folks were waiting up to a day to enter Apple's newest location:  Manhattan's Grand Central Station.  By noon, Apple estimates that they had accomodated 4,000 customers.  My advice is to STEER CLEAR!  People are sheep.

Apple employees await the onslaught.  For their sake, I hope Xanax and Klonopin were passed around as party favors.

Of course, there are always people who want to protest SOMETHING.  How about doing something useful?....Like....sterilization?

These protesters were there in support of a "conflict-free iPhone."  What the fuck is that?  This is not Blood Diamond, and y'all are not DiCaprio.  Go back to your Hooverville on Wall Street.  I am sure y'all are secretly staying at the Ritz on someone else's dime with all that time on your hands.

How about let everyone get on Metro North and go about their busy days without all this crap?



[images via: (1) Reuters; (2) New York Daily News; (3) Kevin Hagen/New York Daily News]

"DOMESTIC DIVO": Simple Holiday Transitions for Everyone

The holidays can get pretty hectic.  But even if you feel a hot mess, it really can be quite simple to keep things from looking it.  Smoke in mirrors, festive folk!

Taking things from Halloween to Thanksgiving is extremely easy.  Pumpkins and gourds are equally applicable to both holidays. Just shuffle some things around.

  

To get ready for company, I threw away old pumpkins and gourds.  Then, moved the ones that were still kickin' from the kitchen table centerpiece to the bar area--filling the champagne cooler with them. (Obviously, the chrysanthemums on the patio get to stay, as well. If you've watered them!)

I think it's fun to use elements of what you are cooking to decorate with around the house.  It provides interesting continuity.  I replaced the gourds at the kitchen table's center with a floral arrangement that used cranberries and cabbage.  Then, I added wintry eucalyptus.  Unfortunately, I needed the rest of the cranberries for cooking, and I was in a rush.  Next time, I am filling the vase....especially since eucalyptus turns the water a gross shade of greenish-brown within hours!

I wanted to carry the same theme to the bedrooms.  Since I was having company, and there are only two bedrooms, I thought it would be fun to bring the same feeling to the bedside tables.

Once Thanksgiving Weekend is over, I like to transition to Christmas...even if I do not yet have my wreath and tree.  So, I replace the same small spaces with stuff that feels fresh.  Like I said, that eucalyptus turns water dingy in a hurry, so time can be of the essence!

I like to follow up the holidays with light, citrus-based foods.  So I just buy extra limes to use for arranging.  They are not very traditional Christmastime, but they are green.  And they last until you get your tree and wreath.  (Or just Christmas greenery, if Jesus isn't necessarily your homeboy due to religious preference!)   Also....think about using white chrysanthemums.  The coloring goes nicely with citrus, and they last long enough for you to get your poinsettias!

Liven-up the same spaces with bittersweet or red berries!  (Clearly, I dig the champagne cooler.)

 

 Next time:  Lighting up the right spot for Chrimmus....and a few recipes. 

(*Tip:  Anytime you are putting flowers in a vase--especially if it is transparent--put a few drops of bleach in the water.  No, it does not kill the flowers.  It keeps the vase clear of that "stinky flower water."  That extends the life of the arrangement, keeps the water looking better...and certainly smelling better.*)

[all images via Written Without Adderall©/Philips Wood, except (1) mentalfloss.com]